YEARS 80 (III) 
retake this our great adventure through the curtains of time (the third after http://elbazardejim.blogspot.com/2009/10/aquellos-horribles-anos-80-i
. html and http://elbazardejim.blogspot.com/2009/12/aquellos-horribles-anos-80ii.html ), consisting of the remains exhumed, displayed to the public, still smoldering, producing all that boundless material, moral, media, philosophy, etc., which were the 80's of XX century after Christ on planet earth.
This saga is already threatening to become a serial, endless-sidereal
continue celebrities - such as "The saga of the Porreta" or "Santa Barbara", but the truth is it's made with love in the world and also, with some knowledge of the facts, as all who live / suffer / enjoy or raffle carded cross that decade impossible without socks castellanos and
"search, compare and if you find something better buy" stay forever marked with the imprint of a world of material abundance, a sudden explosion of light and festive, music and bright colors, which had opened before our eyes for the first time since the generations that had preceded us had to survive in the narrow margins of more berlanguiana shortage of that Spain of the Franco-Do not.
But now I have to give you good news and bad ... What first prefer ?¿¿...?? Is it bad? Well. Then the bad news is that in the eighties you were so young and you were so full of energy and hope you came to think that never were going to stop being one, to change, to grow, but you see, time was tic-tac-tic-tac and now you mirror these and those with less hair and more wrinkles , gray hair and kilos over.
But the good news is that you, young teen-puberty-eighties, could you live and go straight to the wonderful and unforgettable spectacle of:
- LA MARICONERA: The mariconera was a small bag very cool male in the eighties, which, as its popular name indicates, is not considered too manly or macho Iberico.
The kind of man with mariconera tacky in the hand of those crazy years profile becomes a
cachuli or Pedro Ruiz, who seem transplanted directly from the 80 in the XXI century: tergal trousers uploaded to the chest, water without socks, shirts Hilfiger Jersey on his shoulder, frowning face, long drinks in fashion and summer terrace in Majorca with a luminous blonde ... What led a man in those pouches eighties? Well do not ask me because I have no idea because I never saw one of those wonderful creations of the human inside.
guess some keys on the key central bank, a wallet, two condoms expired and some sticks to pick his paluegos. In other words, only four things that a good male Iberian need to spend three months on an island. As
came, it happened. A fleeting fashion, however, left its mark and set the trend (remember the tacky fanny noventeras).
- YOGHURT MAKER: appliances was one of the star of the eighties, along with the fridge it to the poles with a little water and colored powders. Every family of lower middle class, middle-middle, upper middle, had a yogurt maker at home. The people called for in the communion, baptism, weddings, birthdays ... everyone wanted a yogurt maker because the neighbor had a brand that made Braun yogurt for the whole family with little effort and so, they said, the way you save money in the store, the Bursar or Spar.
But the truth is that those homemade yoghurts were boringly tasteless, "desaboríos" and more expressionless (gastronomically speaking) that fronted Penelope Cruz, which is saying.
was at that moment when we began to appreciate and be aware of the added value and wealth that brings on industrial chemistry as acidulants, preservatives, sweeteners, E-25, E-14, and so on. The natural thing was losing ground with respect to adulterated in laboratories. Synthetic food won by points and the mothers returned to stores of the Pillars and Mari Carmen to buy Danone and Flanbys, which also brought yellow stickers and Lillibit Belfy and David the Gnome before becoming a tree.
- LEATHER CLOTHING: that the Tremenda fashion leather clothing, it seemed that we were tod @ s of a masochist or Gayer club of those who frequented Al Pacino in "The Hunt." leather pants, leather jackets with zippers shots on all sides, narrow neckties Leather, leather boots ... during the eighty million cows and calves were sacrificed to keep us all well clad in patent shoes and all types of tanning processes. A paradise for fetish
were the eighties.
- Suppositories: Your mother told you that you bajases pajamas, dieses you around and think of something nice while introducing you to the straight up one of those tiny little bullets of glycerin.
Several things:
a) was a work of mothers. Never has a father put a suppository, I do not understand why.
b) always got up on the wrong side, the sharp tip, when to introduce it by the blunt side, so it does not come out.
c) In the end it had become so fashionable as of suppositories that you put them up to cure a cold or if you coughed twice heard that your mother was already behind with the suppository in hand. I think even they liked.
d) sexologists claim that the male G-spot is inside the anus, near the prostate. The call point P. Maybe this from the suppositories was, unconsciously, one of our first points of contact with the world of adult human sexuality.
e) A certain age and they are trying to put-or-self, but would require a little flexibility and unseemly effort in the attempt. With thirty years as not leaving you I see you put one on your lover, mother or grandmother.
- BRUCE LEE: An icon of the eighties. "Karate to death in Bangkok", "Game of Death" "Operation Dragoon" . The host in verse, the Chinese Film flying karate and martial arts we accelerated the testosterone to men so that we were leaving the Cinema at the streets and flying kicking double manslaughter Jeet Kune Do.
And Bruce was the best, because he had won Chuck Norris in a Roman amphitheater and it said it was moving so fast that the camera was not able to record and thus had to slow down their movements. Who has not had a poster torn from the Dojo of February, the San Francisco Chinese in your room? What guy in the neighborhood was not called a nunchaku or a shuriken (star ninja) in the mail?
And finally, poor Bruce appears that both died of training, was killed by ninjas or you are with Elvis and Jim Morrison in a Caribbean island (or all three together), that even for this there are several interesting theories and proposals on Mars.
still is today the day when their fans did not forget this guy wearing a yellow monkey knocked down Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in "Game of Death" and who honored on a machine from the Sun: The Kung Fu Master .
- encyclopedia salesman: An urban tribe of the eighties most powerful and numerous than the heavys, rockers and punks, all together. And much more persuasive, they get to sell to your parents, which were always very Justito of parné-things like Larousse, Salvat Encyclopedia and The Encyclopedia of the Human Being is and re-trace and one thing more miraculous than the that multiplication of the loaves and fishes.
Now that was a job: door to door carrying heavy samples when there was many elevators by Spain ahead of the flood neighborhoods and suburbs, and all for a paltry commission per sale. Types
sweaty and wearing ties they called your mother in the front door (your mother still was wearing the apron while peeling onions but I listened as one listens to Prime Minister):
- ... madam, for the sake of his son, so you can study and become college and working as an engineer in a good thing as effortless Citroën ... and to be a good person. Here they are, in these twenty volumes that only cost 2,300 pesetas a month for ten years of nothing, all knowledge of the human being updated as of this year ... Mesopotamia, the first man on the moon, the latest advances of modern medicine, minerals, the least common multiple ...
- Excuse me, but I have the balls about to be ...
- Okay, but I can go and explain it better inside ... not for me, is the education of their children ...
- Dickies Jeans: For some strange reason, he came into vogue in the eighties Dickies jeans, which are like a pair of jeans but with a chest pocket and suspenders.
One thing tacky and pedestrian as they come. Peruleiro's friend, the tontolaba of Juanín, who had never seen a cow or a river in his life, coming now to be something like a farmer in Milwaukee who returns from his field of wheat after harvest. What was more ridiculous than to see Pavarotti dress diver.
- BIKE STATIC AND ELASTIC: The sport had become fashionable after all the Rocky films, Conan and these videos and series of people sweating in gyms and Olivia Newton John and Fame. All Christ wanted to be hypertrophied as carah Swarzeneger of three weeks, so I pulled the bike and hand stretchers as they laid out loud things like "Eye of Tiger" or "Flashdance."
The excitement and the lead lasted about four days. The fifth and tensioners were kept in a drawer and folded bike behind a door or left in the junk room or cleaning to put clothes on and goodbye too good. He would become a bike and "aesthetics" and the rubber on the turnbuckles were used to tie something urgent when needed. Sport home
never had much future. It happens the same as the homemade yogurt. Something missing, nobody knows what, but necessary.
- TP: The TV programs is something that can not fail to mention the prodigious decade. There came a young everything needed to pass the week: television programming to their schedules, reviews of movies, series, cartoons, interviews with Donovan V, Eva Nasarre Miliki or so forth. A pocket-size TV guide which sold like hotcakes on the newsstands and was the delight of small, medium and large. By 30-40 pts had
affordable (remember it was a time when there was no internet or teletext) all the boob tube programming.
If you got lost after the "Greatest American Hero" or "imaginary planet" because they had changed their time slot, is because you were a rat. And there is more to say.
- FAMILY FILM AND MULTICINES: The multiplexes have sprung up in the eighties and were reproduced as spores. The Film Theatre-old now going to be five, out of nowhere to entertain Multicines Neighborhood the lumpen of the suburbs and slums.
And while the so-called New American Cinema Author (Scorsese, Coppola, Cimino, Schrader ...) languished and emptied Cinemas, turned Reaganite conservative revolution to bring the whole family in love and companionship to enjoy the slapstick and sympathetic nothing controversial or caustic Los Gremlims, The Goonies and Ghostbusters.
Everything was back to normal in the happy eighty films, including echoes of Walt Disney and the infantile and transmitting that aseptic Film roll for the whole family with dog included.
to some porn movies ended up in wedding and said that performing intercourse to procreate.
I do not know.
- Mercurochrome O Mercromina: Mercurochrome, pharmaceutical preparation of mercury and alcohol used as an antiseptic. I'll put your mother on her knees and elbows when you fell from the bike or skateboard. It was a very popular and loved in the eighties, symbolic, especially the "enchastre" purple color on the skin leaving, much to the Mondrian. A product that disappeared from the overnight. Some mercurochrome
and a healthy healthy frog's ass time and cure everything, including asthma and syphilis.
- LA MODA "KINKI" kinkis practices and customs that had excelled in the seventies were maintained and bolstered in the eighties thanks in part to the media. "I, the Heifer", "Street Dogs", Chicane, The Chungking, Los Calis. .. became fashionable fights and stabs in the neighborhood festivals, the color grade of the tugs, the theft of 131 supermirafiori the cassette to the shoulder, "let me or you five durito record" ...
skinny jeans, Yumas Galaxy, stilettos, bumper cars, Ripple and thugs in a clearing and a bit of glue sniffing on the stock from time to time ... this was the universe's gravitational kinki of suburbs, a subspecies of lumpen poor neighborhood who moved in and stolen Vespino was strong in the streets, unemployed and wasteland cetáreas the city.
They had their hopes and dreams, they wanted to be like Pirri, The Torete, Heifer and start your career in correctional after stealing a car, caught drogaína there to thin out later to give some stick in a bank and end shot by the cops so brown and Sabina as a tribute to his crimes a rebel in the system, they write a song. Macarra of tight pants, tattooed gang suburbiano ... Today
just been recycled and cleared a bit narrow minded, which is called kinki openness, as also hear reggaeton, music "Makin 'and have to paste that take their tricks to buy tubarros for the Opel Corsa, getting a tattoo of" ja "or catch brand tracksuits and sandpipers.
Another day talk of the Dog Pippin's put it on, Make this, the Roc-Noice hacks and the fashion of tying the beach at the ankles. Everything else eighties
the Break-Dance and Tron.
Greetings Jim and pass it dabuti, colleagues!
