Why Do Dogs Hate Lemons

Recitals

Who does not like concerts? They are one of those moments where wastage adrenaline, where you can enjoy the band you like playing for you a couple of feet and feel the music all over your body. Cool. But they are also meeting places for some funny characters, some disturbing and sickening some directly, like taking out without gloves hairs from the shower of a locker room of a bar of truckers. Here are some:


- The Fat Sweaty : All recitals will find at least one of these specimens. Now, what does vary is the fact whether or not the shirt on. Rolling In recitals, Lice and this wave has no shirt key and you'll have to sweat mayst smoke a pipe with chopped salami smell. In contrast, in recital de Miranda!, Babasónicos, etc., have a tight shirt matambre where we will see these halos to have jumped on two topics.

- The Poguero : This is a fully drawn character, and I think, just because the truth I'm not sure that exists only in Argentina. I'm not talking about people who are out in recitals of Korn or Pantera, anyone out there is, but of those who agitate in recitals or totally meaningless issues such as this and lived it, people that when I was playing The Police Every Breath Take You jumped taken as if the floor burn. I flew singing listening to Roger Waters Comfortably Numb and brought forward pogueando like La Renga. All well with the chipped removed, but when the subject deserves, in a performance of Sonata, Nightwish, Ozzy, etc.

- The Superfan : We know all the issues of memory, all letters, all names of members of the band, the name of the leads, the soundman, the crazy lights, he wrote a note on them in a magazine. If you have at hand, you'll suffer like mine on a diet at Christmas, you will not be able to hear anything because you're going to be screaming in your ear and will mourn more than Velez Nazarene. Important recommendation, if you see it, stay away.

- The Fan wink wink, know only one or two issues, no more. Is quiet and calm throughout the concert waiting for the touch, and when they do, it becomes a mixture of poguero and superfan, jumping out and screaming like a theme to vindicate for all time quiet and enforce the hundred mangoes hurt entry.

- La Minita Upset that people climb : "I see nothing! We raise please" and automatically covered his vision of at least twenty people behind her. Although an exceedingly fucks that you have to run around to see because there is a mad over a thin, is too funny to hear how many things that scream to get off. You have to have steel eggs bancarte all that tangle of insults. Guachón Yayo and kindergarten are as babes in next to the magnificent obscenities that can get to hear such cases.

- La Minita that measures 1.20 : Some of these fall into the former category, but not all. There are some that are as far forward as possible to see something, because in the field, unless you have more than 1.80 midas a limited and you can breathe unless Sandro. Before the start of the recital, to be ahead is not a hassle, but when it starts, hard, being a minita 1.20, you can support the weight of all the people pushing you against the railing. Result: Terms fainting in the medical tent. I do not understand why not take audience, knowing that this is going to happen.

- He who goes with his girlfriend : This is easy to identify, is that since coming to the concert ending is at least one hand on the shoulder of the mine. Remains fixed during the breaks and so on. The hand on the shoulder is unconditional. Droplet or two things hit so hard.

- The Grumpy Bajonero : The performances are moments of happiness and excitement, but this character does not understand those feelings. I do not know if it was required, or because they gave the entrance and had no friends who give it and would not go throwing it, or simply idiot. Is the one that gets angry when people jump, if people sing, if people yell, if people breathe, if people sweat, if people look to the side, if the light that illuminates the stage next to he and the reflection as that gives a touch in the left eye and remind you of your bad childhood. Basically, fuck you all, and maintains an ass face important as it is able to sit in an ice cream and say what flavor it is.

- The Cocacolero / Saladixero / Garrapiñero / Etc : After struggling for at least half an hour to make place in the sea of \u200b\u200bbodies and find the perfect place from which to see, take this gentleman asking permission, you run and has some fucking and you out there. Not to mention when you drop a glass of coca enterito in your head, now you'll have not only smell when you leave Inca cemetery but that aside you will be more mellow than Winnie Pooh.

Now yes, I hope its aggregates.

Female Genitaila At 7 Weeks Old

Elevator Upset Customers

There were always people upset, irritable, and nasty, but until some idiot had the idea that the customer is always right, we send and ready to fry potatoes. Now you can not, how are you going to send shit to a customer? And within that deserve a good punch there are several styles of annoying. I'll try to make a kind of summary of all these guys that if any thing at any time summon a business wants to get an idea of \u200b\u200bwho you're dealing and apply appropriate techniques to counter them.

The Undecided

This is a specimen particular, entering a business without the slightest idea what to buy, go for inertia, I saw the light and went classical. Customer

: Half a dozen meat please.
Baker: Yeah, right. ( and prepares ) Customer
: Pará, and add a two more chicken.
Baker: Okay. ( and begins to add )
Customer: No parameters, better get me two of meat, gets a tamale, warm the ham and cheese, makes a backflip and puts one over chicken.
Baker: Let's see if I understand, basically you want 4 meat, 3 chicken, a tamale and a ham and cheese, right?
Customer: Yeah.
Baker: One. Do you heat them? Customer
: Hmmm, just warmed chicken, the rest as cold. Or will heat up next? Nah, better calentalas all. Baker
: Good (and starts to warm them)
Customer: No, Pará! Does one thing, not just hot, better change me one of flesh for a watchman, takes out the ham and cheese and Put it over the chicken while walking on one leg and whistling the Marseillaise of humita Put it in another tray with a piece of bread.
Baker : You're a wanker or Marley's son? Customer
: Che! But that attitude of shit, You know what? Give me a quarter of bread and ready.
Baker: Here you have fucking, bye.

How can you counteract it? Two things. First, do nothing, MoveTo less than a snail in a coma until the loco is decided. And yet, wait a minimum of 10 min at him with the face of bread for changes in the last minute. And second, you need more patience than 5 minutes to speak with Julian Weich without throwing a grenade in his mouth.

The Ignorant

This is usually given a lot in hardware stores. Cae someone who has the slightest idea what it's called what it lacks, does not know how to describe it, he knows absolutely nothing, but still hopes that you will resolve the issue because "that's your job."

Ferretero : Good morning ma'am.
Customer: Hi, I'm looking for a black rubber little thing that I broke.
Ferrentero : Cosito black? Do you have it here for you to see?
Customer: No, I threw it, if not useless.
Ferretero : Well, but we have saved some time, but good .. Where did you got? Customer
I do not know, down there in the kitchen tap.
Ferretero : Oh I guess more or less what he wants, wait here and bring it. ( We are looking for and it brings ) Is this it? Customer
: Hmmm, I dunno, is similar yes, but do not know if it was exactly like that.
Ferretero : Your tap loses?
Customer: Yeah.
Ferretero : This does not lose more.
Customer: Well, but now I see it seems to me that was not so well, was a little more worn on one side, and had half a hole slightly larger.
Ferretero That's because this is new and not yours.
Customer: Well, but could if I would spend a little safer, it happens that's not how I remember.
Ferretero : A black rubber little thing, right? Here is a little thing made of rubber.
Customer: Well, but what I could not spend a little to the hole? Because I remember there was more spent, and not want to buy and then not going to help me.
Ferretero : Madam, we go back, this little thing .. black rubber IS NEW! His .. NO! Therefore it had to come to buy another, because the other were already spending. Do you understand? Customer
: It need not speak well, you know? To me, my doorman told me how he had to ask.
Ferretero : Your doorman told him to ask for a "black rubber little thing?
Customer: Yes, and he always knows everything, the other day I fixed the toilet. So do not you know more than him.
Ferretero : Well do something, do this and tell the doorman that the goal in the ass to see if it still leaks.

How can you counteract it? When you come asking for something, just put all the items that match your basic explanation and caustic soda it is the client who waste time while seeing what time you implement something better such as having cracks in the ceiling and see how many ways can you say Rial is a tick that lives suck the blood of others.

The conceited

This specimen is convinced he knows more than anyone of anything, but actually have less idea Karina Jelinek. Go Anywhere and tries to teach who is expert on the product it sells. It happens a lot in garages, but not limited to this, these customers can go to a brothel and try to teach them to be whores like cats.

Customer: Hello, I come to find a shoe. Seller
: Well, for what you need? Customer
: To play tennis with the smurfs asshole. What I'll need? To connect many things at the same outlet. Seller
: But sir, depends on what you want to connect, there are different types of shoes. Customer
: Make something, give me the shoe that has plenty of places to plug, and plug into the wall. That love is not as difficult as I ask. Seller
: But sir, if you connect a refrigerator and a microwave to a shoe that is not prepared for that, you can overload the network and even burn some of the stuff.
Customer: Look, I laburo 10 years at Siemens, "I'll come to boluda? It's okay, give me the cheapest and ready.
Seller: Listen, you will be a. .. Customer
, Are not you listening? I want the cheapest, but the prostitute che, boludo're more retarded than a turkey. Seller
: You know what? Take your shoe, and I hope it rains you shit while you burn all the fucking house, lining.

How can you counteract it? Very simple, give him what he wants, do not try to advise on anything, when you burn the house rather than going to whore the table against which hit the little finger at night half asleep, but will learn.


And you ask me what happened, why say so long disappeared. Legend has it that since I was about to receive now, which I studied as a moron, but it came juan swine flu, facu closed, and now I fart more people to be acts of Cristina.